HOW TO DEAL WITH A PROBLEMATIC HOUSEMATE
There are various times in our lives when living alone is not an option – either out of necessity or by choice. House sharing can be a crazy adventure, result in the beloved family you never knew you wanted, or be a strange clinical experience.
Anyone who has shared a house will tell you their own horror story and there are many! Putting a few basic processes in place early on can make a huge difference to the outcomes, but if that didn’t work, how do you deal with or get rid of a problematic housemate?
Solutions first - try to find common ground
You must be all clear about the kind of home you want to live in – is it a peaceful haven or a party zone? Do you like lots of people around or prefer solitude? Did you agree to share all expenses previously – rent, utilities and groceries – and someone forgot? Is there an understanding of each other’s privacy needs and a respect for personal possessions? Before throwing accusations around, think about your lifestyle and daily habits and get a sense of how they might be impacting the rest of the house. Work, leisure, partners and chores all impact the household and your schedules should fit together nicely so everyone gets what they need out of the house. You should also think through whether the issues you are experiencing are eviction worthy? It’s not the big brother house after all – hairs in the sink and unwashed dishes are an inevitable part of share house living. Consistently unpaid rent or bills, safety issues, or abusive or illegal behaviours however are legitimate concerns and should be dealt with swiftly and responsibly. Having a conversation about the issues may result in a simple solution, however, if all these issues have been aired and the problems remain, move on to the next step.
Document and justify your position
If no common ground could be found, your next steps will start to involve local authorities such as the tenancy tribunal, and maybe even the police or social services. With this in mind, you must build a case that legitimises your concerns and gives others some background and proof of the issues you’ve been facing. If it’s a case of unpaid bills, start keeping copies of bills and receipts of payments made by you and other housemates. Photographs of damage or activities may be useful in some circumstances too but before recording or documenting anything be sure you understand privacy laws relevant to your location and age groups – it may be illegal to take video or audio recordings of private activities your housemate is engaging in, and there may be exceptions where it’s not. If the common ground discussion was fruitless, you might find it useful to start emailing your housemate about specific issues rather than having verbal conversations, so you create a paper trail of communications between the two of you, whilst also minimising the risk of antagonising them with in-person interactions.
Table the desired outcome
If you want them to move out and you honestly can see no other solution, then you must table it. It’s gross and awkward but what is your alternative? Keep quiet and live with it or speak out and move closer towards a
solution? If you moved in at the same time and you’re both on the lease, you should have some justification ready as to why they have to move out and you get to stay. If you’re not on the lease and they are, your best solution maybe just to tell them you’ve found somewhere bigger, or cheaper, or closer to work and move on with no hard feelings. If eviction is your preferred option, you should be clear in advance of what you want the outcome to be and the parameters – you want them to move out and you’d like that to be in 2 weeks or one month or whatever time frame you think works best. Do this in writing as mentioned previously. If they don’t come to the party, you can then offer a professional or external mediation option that lets them know you’re serious. A quick online search should find you some local mediation service providers.
Know your options
If mediation does not happen or fails, you’ll progress to the ‘kicking them out’ stage. If you own the property or are the primary leaseholder then in theory, you have the upper hand. You could provide written notice for them to vacate the property and legally must allow them around 90 days to find somewhere else and move out. This may differ from state to state so check your local tenancy authority or consumer affairs department for specifics. You may also be able to get some customised advice here about the specifics of your situation and maybe even a template notice that you can use. If you’re both on the lease, then discussion and negotiation will need to take place. One of you will be moving out and, if they are particularly stubborn, it may well be you! It’s always worth weighing things up and deciding which is the greater pain – living with the issues or going through the short-term pain of moving out? Deciding to stay on until the end of the lease may not be a solution if they decide to renew for another year or more and you don’t – you’ll be a stalemate, then you’ll be packing boxes, not them. If you indeed have the final say, and they still refuse to move out you can take your case to your state’s version of the Civil and Administrative Tribunal and try to convince them your housemate needs to go. This could result in a termination order that may take weeks to come through and result in a very uncomfortable home life for some time but in extreme circumstances, this may end up being your best solution at this stage.
And if that doesn’t work?!
If your troublesome housemate has not responded to the written notice to vacate or the termination order, the only solutions you have left are to change the locks and/or call the authorities. You can call your local police station for advice if you feel at risk, or you can go back to the tribunal and apply for a forceful eviction – in which case the police will come and physically remove them from the property.
Remember most states and territories have some kind of tenancy support or advice office that can help you navigate a whole range of situations. Contact them first for advice so you can get an unbiased opinion, as well as a clear understanding of what your rights are rather than what you think they are – it’s rare to achieve success simply because we think something is not fair.